It's election time up here and...

...I will be voting "Liberal". Here are my reasons:

Because I believe in the extent to which the Official Languages Act is carried out and enforced; that every public servant even in the most remote part of B.C. should be fluent in the French language, but that government business in Quebec should be in unilingual French.

Because I believe that only lawyers from the province of Quebec are qualified to be prime minister of Canada.

Because I believe that the federal government should be completely controlled by the province of Quebec.

Because I believe that all criminals are just poor misunderstood victims of society and can all be easily rehabilitated in a very short period of time; and that only they have "rights"; not the victims of their crimes.

Because I believe that hardened criminals like Karla Homolka should be pampered by living in a "cottage" with her own key and be allowed to have pyjama parties and go out on shopping trips; and that killers in prison "resorts" on the Pacific coast should eat filet mignon, have barbecues, go whale watching and have their own golf course, while our senior citizens have to eat left over Kraft Dinner.

Because I believe that mass murderers under that age of 18 should be protected by the Young Offenders Act and the rest of us law-abiding citizens do not have the right to know who they are.

Because I believe in bringing hundreds of thousands of unskilled people into Canada from third world countries every year so we can support them on welfare and so that they will vote Liberal; and that this number should be increased every year.

Because I believe that it is fair that the province of Quebec is the sole province allowed to be in charge of its immigration policy; that they receive 5 times the amount of federal immigration money than does Ontario, even though Ontario has to teach those people how to speak English whereas Quebec only allows immigrants to enter who already know the French language.

Because I believe that we do not have a right to own land in Canada, as it is under Liberal law.

Because I believe it is only fair that Liberals steal as much tax money as they can from us; through every conceivable means from the HRDC boondoggle to the 2 billion dollar gun registry that does not work.

Because I believe that if my family is the victim of a home invasion I should not have the right to protect them in our own home.

Because I believe in huge government bureaucracy and extremely high taxes, as I believe that the government knows how to spend my money better than I do.

Because I believe in having essentially no military because everyone loves us and we will never be called upon to protect our country.

Because Jack Layton is not a lawyer from Quebec so he is not qualified to be prime minister; besides, he smiles too much.

Because Stephen Harper is not a lawyer from Quebec and he and the Conservative Party of Canada have a hidden agenda and they are very scary people.

Because I believe that we should alienate our neighbours to the South because all Americans are morons and know nothing about Canada; and that we should continue to align ourselves more closely with our true friends, France, China and Russia.

Because I believe everything that the Liberal controlled media tells me, especially the CBC.

Because I believe that no one should ever be held responsible or accountable for their own actions in today's society. It is always someone else's fault.

Because I believe that we should not expect newcomers to our country to accept or adapt to our culture and traditions and customs; and that we should not wish each other "Merry Christmas" in case it might be offensive to some.

Because I have the IQ of a doorknob and am easily sucked in by Liberal scare tactics and propaganda; and am easily bought off with my own tax money.

Two more rings discovered around Uranus - Space News - MSNBC.com

Two more rings discovered around Uranus - Space News - MSNBC.com: "Astronomers aided by the Hubble Space Telescope have spied two more rings encircling Uranus"

Well, you'd better get that checked then.

Sorry, couldn't resist a little childish humour there.

Oil Found in Antartica - Bush Sends in Military

The Spoof - Oil Found in Antartica - Bush Sends in Military: "'We know those penguins are hiding Weapons of Mass Destruction. ' says President George W. Bush, "

What more needs to be said...

The Politics of Playtime - Newsweek National News - MSNBC.com

The Politics of Playtime - Newsweek National News - MSNBC.com: "'Girls Inc.,' one mother warned, 'is pro-abortion and pro-contraception and pro all the other lies the secular world wants our girls to believe.' "

All I can do is shake my head.

Florida begins long, costly cleanup after Wilma - Hurricane Wilma - MSNBC.com

Florida begins long, costly cleanup after Wilma - Hurricane Wilma - MSNBC.com: "“I wasn’t prepared for anything. I never thought it would be this bad,” said Virginia Davila, 29, as she waited at the stadium."

You have got to be kidding! People! Listen to the hurricane forecasters, they are pretty good at what they do. Anyone who says they weren't prepared should have to stand at the back of the line for supplies. I guess 5 or 6 days of warning just isn't enough for some people.

Pregnant woman allegedly beaten for fetus - Crime & Punishment - MSNBC.com

Pregnant woman allegedly beaten for fetus - Crime & Punishment - MSNBC.com: "Peggy Jo Conner, 38, of Ford City, was arraigned Thursday on charges of attempted homicide, aggravated assault and aggravated assault of an unborn child."

This kind of story really gets me into the "What's this world coming to?" mood. Really, this is absolutely sick. If it wasn't for the fact that Peggy Jo is obviously mentally sick, I'd say drag her into the woods and cut open her stomach. As it is she'll probably be free in a couple of years after spending time in a mental institution. What is this world coming to?

Here's a reason to go visit Florida.

Attention: testy visitors risk being shot in Florida - Yahoo! News: "Supporters call it the 'Stand Your Ground' law, while opponents call it the 'Shoot First' law."

Sounds like it should be called the, " Hey we've all been given an excuse to shoot people!" law. How is this going to protect people? All a criminal has to say is, "I was robbing his house when he came in and looked like he was going to shoot me. So I shot him first, it was self-defense.".

And said as only a Bush could... "Governor
Jeb Bush described it as a "good, common sense, anti-crime issue" when he signed it into law." Uh huh.

I'll bet gun stores are wringing their hands at the thought of all the guns they're going to sell this holiday season.

Ex-Tyco executives get up to 25 years in prison

Ex-Tyco executives get up to 25 years in prison - Corporate Scandals - MSNBC.com: "He’s a good man. He’s a decent person and his reputation has been tarnished but his life should not be destroyed.”"

Right, aside from the fact that he and his buddy stole $600,000,000.00 so that they could throw huge parties and have fancy houses. Thanks goodness the juries in these trials aren't falling for any of the exceuses these guys are dishing out. Good riddance to both of them.

Massachusetts' Move to Open Format is Close-minded

Massachusetts' Move to Open Format is Close-minded: "Opinion: The State of Massachusetts should not forsake Microsoft file formats, which are 'open enough' for many users. "

There are so many things wrong with this column, I'm not sure I even know where to start. The whole reason MS is what it is today is because it's products are good enough, or open enough, or stable enough. I think what MA is doing is saying good enough isn't good enough. We want something that is better than that, something that anyone can use, not just those that can buy Microsoft's products. That's the opinion part out of the way, now some facts:

While OpenOffice isn't widely supported yet, it has support for MS formats. You can take any OpenOffice spreadsheet and save it as an Excel spreadsheet. Same for all other OpenOffice apps.

OpenOffice hasn't caught on because of people like Coursey telling them that it doesn't do what they need. Anyone who can use MS Office could turn around and use OpenOffice and be able to do almost everything within a day.

Where does switching to Linux figure into this whole argument? Instead of, as Coursey states, taking choice away from people, by choosing an open format he's actually giving them more choice. If they choose OpenOffice they can run it on Windows, Linux, and Mac. If you stipulate that everyone must use MS Office, you are taking away the Linux option (and most Mac users won't touch MS Office unless they are forced).

"...but in the end the state could potentially save a lot of money. It seems, however, that if Microsoft adds OpenDocument support to Office then Mr. Quinn would be satisfied." And what would be so bad about that? The state could save money and people could choose to use MS Office if they wanted. Sounds like a win-win to me. Although I'm not so convinced that MS will ever adopt the open doc format. Why should they? After all, the closed MS doc format is good-enough.

Calgary Herald - canada.com network

Calgary Herald - canada.com network: "The majority of crops in Alberta are in good or excellent condition."

Once again, the media dooms the farmers to another year of crop failures. Now that those words have been printed something has to go wrong. I'm going to place my bets on an early snowfall.

Check back in a month or see to see if I'm right.

Gretzky 'excited' about coaching the Coyotes - Yahoo! News

Gretzky 'excited' about coaching the Coyotes - Yahoo! News: "By no means am I (Hall of Fame coach) Scotty Bowman"

The "Great Question" about "The Great One". Can he coach?
Lots of people are saying that he was such a natural talent that he won't be able to explain what he wants from his payers. I tend to disagree though. He's worked with at least one excellent coach in his career (Glen Sather), he's smart, and he is well liked by basically everyone in the business. While there is certainly no way he'll create a team of Gretzky's, he knows the strategies and the nuance of the game. There are very few players who were able to see the entire rink like he did when he was on the ice. That's not natural talent, that's practice and intelligence.
I'm looking forward to this and hopefully the people of Phoenix will give him a chance to prove that he can help their team more than just financially.

Copy-protected CDs iPod-incompatible but sell well - Yahoo! News

Copy-protected CDs iPod-incompatible but sell well - Yahoo! News: "Meanwhile, record industry officials said the Dave Matthews and Foo Fighters CDs are selling well."

Of course they're selling well, people want the CD's. If they put out a non-copywrite version of it, I'll bet it would sell even better. Why can't the recording industry just wait until the technology is there? This type of thing just makes them and the labels hated even more by the exact people they're trying keep from copying CD's. In Canada we've had some copy protected CD's for a while now and I refuse to buy any. I don't pirate, but I want to be able to listen to the music when I want to listen to it, not just when I'm in front of my stereo.
Until the trade groups and labels get their act together they're going to continue to lose sales.

Sports | Hockey | canada.com

Sports | Hockey | canada.com

If I was the player's union I'd be getting ready to turf Bob Goodenow. All he did was screw the players out of playing for part of a year. It was obvious from the beginning that the owners weren't going to cave, obviously Goodenow thought they were bluffing. Now he has a bunch of union member who've just had there salaries cut waaaay back, I bet some players will lose close to 50%.
I supported the owners from the very beginning on this, but if I was a player, I'd be really steamed today.

WorldCom's Ebbers Sentenced to 25 Years

WorldCom's Ebbers Sentenced to 25 Years

Justice is served. I'm sure every one of the people who lost their pensions and life-savings will be a little happier today.

10 Commandments not religious...wait, maybe they are...

Court: Some Ten Commandments Displays OK - Yahoo! News: "The Supreme Court struggled in a pair of 5-4 rulings Monday to define how much blending of church and state is constitutionally permissible, allowing the Ten Commandments to be displayed outside the Texas state capitol but not inside Kentucky courthouses."

If someone could explain this whole thing to me I'd really appreciate it. How can something from by Bible not be religious?

Oh and "But framed copies in two Kentucky courthouses...", so those would be copies of the original 10 Commandments then?

Canadian Copywrite Reform

www.MichaelGeist.ca

"Copyright owner rhetoric aside, it is unfortunate that we are also unlikely to see many people actually referring to statistical evidence to support their claims that copyright reform is desperately needed."

It is unfortunate, but that is what happens when you have special interest groups. They're only interested in furthering their cause, and we all know that statistics can be made to say whatever you want them to say.
It looks like this new law is going to take us closer to the American style of copywrite protection (whatever the special interest groups want, forget about the consumers). As is stated in the above post, was there really a need to reform copywrite law here, only if you are the recording industry who will now have all of the things they didn't get the first time around.
Don't get me wrong, I support copywrite as appropriate and with fair use. Illegal file sharing etc is exactly that; illegal. The big problem is that we're slowly losing that fair use and pretty soon we'll only have "fair-to-the-CRIA" use.

PETA on Yahoo! News Photos

PETA on Yahoo! News Photos

This was good for a laught this morning. "The protest, in which three people placed themselves in containers resembling supermarket meat trays, was meant to compare eating meat with cannibalism." Maybe they were aiming this marketing campaign at al the cows that buy beef at the supermarket? That's crazy, cows don't shop at the supermarket... silly PETA. Am I missing the point here? I think someone should stand outside the PETA offices dressed up as a cauliflower to compare PETA strategist's brains to vegetables.

Citi notifies 3.9 million customers of lost data - Consumer Security - MSNBC.com

Citi notifies 3.9 million customers of lost data - Consumer Security - MSNBC.com: "the tapes were lost by the courier UPS Inc. in transit"

Here's an idea... Stop giving these kind of jobs to companies don't care what they're transporting. Make transporting tapes the responsibility of Joe in I.T. and make sure he know his job is on the line if he loses the tapes. If he gets robbed or carjacked or something, obviously that's beyond his control. But he should sure be able to keep track of a box of tapes while taking them to the warehouse.

Bush 'very concerned about cloning' - Stem Cell Research - MSNBC.com

Bush 'very concerned about cloning' - Stem Cell Research - MSNBC.com: "“I’m very concerned about cloning,” the president said. “I worry about a world in which cloning becomes accepted.”"

This from a man who can't even pronounce the word nuclear. Yet he's expert enough on stem cell research that he can confidently veto any bill that deals with embryonic stem cell research. I'm sure there aren't any special interest groups involved in that decision...

Change the World

News | canada.com network: "'If there needs to be change, it needs to be in the world, not in the doctrine,' said Marc Cardinal Ouellet, archbishop of Quebec."

OK, sure, that shouldn't be too tough. What do they need 6 or 7 weeks?
This must be some incredible Pope if they think they're going to change the minds of all the free-thinking extremist Catholics that aren't toeing the line. Their views and beliefs have been changing for how many decades now? And they think they're going to turn it around. They're more out of touch than I thought.